what was, what wasn't, what?

blissfully blown away by fatigue and chocolate milk, coconut milk and nestles hot chocolate mix (for lack of any other chocolate) but cold it does not dissolve well and i want cold so i did and slightly grainy but deliciously different nonetheless cuz coconut milk mixed with skim milk and a touch of extra sugar and exploding brain cells encourage bubbling energy that so wants to bounce off walls in spite of the physical body wishing for blind sleep so deep the brain stops (never happened before except during a few blackouts at the hands of alcohol and there was no pleasantness afterward so i don't go back there) and so here i am bobble-head sitting typing racing in slow motion wishing for more and someone who might begin to understand and keep up and kiss the chocolate me...

sex would be good now...

trust

somewhere it was written:

everything in this world is so skewed by human judgments, by preconceptions of right and wrong, how can anyone have a clearly objective perspective or understanding of anything?...

so do i choose to be alone, intimately, not trusting unconditionally, intimately, because i do not trust others because everything in this world is so skewed by human judgments, by preconceptions of right and wrong that are not always based on logic or instinct and are sometimes based on irrational delusions, logic suggests that no one could have a clearly objective perspective or understanding of anything and without that, no one's judgment can be trusted, which is the basis for most, if not all, decision and actions, so purely logically, no one's actions can be trusted, so no one can be trusted...

so the question for me, or anyone accepting the above logic as true, is how to get past this obvious logic to actually attempt to physically trust another human enough to actually develop an intimate physical relationship beyond momentary sexual contact...

i believed i found the answer a few times, but being alone again might point to an error in that belief as the relationships did not continue...

chocolate thoughts are not always fun, aye?...

but it usually is :)